Category: Uncategorized

What Have I Been Streaming Lately?–Serious 2020 Movies Edition

Sacha Baron Cohen as Abie Hoffman
Sacha Baron Cohen as Abie Hoffman in “The Trial of the Chicago 7”

Even before the 2020 pandemic and the accompanying lockdown/shelter-in-place mode, the line between theatrical and streaming movies had  begun to blur. In order to meet the standard minimum qualification that movies be released theatrically to qualify for Academy Award consideration, studios would release a film in a few select theatres in New York and Los Angeles for a week or so and then launch into the streaming services for consumption at home by the world at large. Now, the powers that be have temporarily waved that in-person requirement, so the awards season will likely encompass a mix of platforms.

In recent days, my other half and I have watched several of these offerings in the comfort of our living room, thanks to Netflix and Amazon Prime. Here are these picks in no particular order, as we would deem them all worthwhile. There are several others that we have yet to watch that would probably belong on such a list, and one of our selections is admittedly  pretty polarizing as far as what critics are  currently saying.

The Trial of the Chicago 7–Netflix
Aaron Sorkin originally made a name for himself as a renowned script writer and television creator/producer. Yet, in 2017 he entered the directing realm with the excellent true-life poker tale Molly’s Game. In 2020, he brings us an eerily timely courtroom drama chronicling the federal trial against the leaders of the massive protests during the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago.

Sasha Baron Cohen, aka Borat, headlines a terrific all-star cast with his amazing portrayal of sixties revolutionary Abbie Hoffman. Cohen’s display of Hoffman’s radical antics vividly contrasts the smooth ambition of fellow activist/defendant Tom Hayden, as portrayed by Eddie Redmayne. We the audience are forced to ponder challenging questions about the role of dissent in a free society.

The Life Ahead–Netflix
Italian screen legend Sophia Loren returns from a decade-long hiatus under the direction of her son Edoardo Ponti. Loren plays Rosa, an Italian Jewish woman who survived the horrors of the Holocaust as a child and made a living for herself through prostitution. Long retired from seeing clients, Rosa has transformed her home into a refuge for the children of sex workers in her seaside city. She develops an unlikely bond with a troubled pre-teen immigrant boy in need of both love and discipline. Yes, there are movie-of-the week clichés at work here, but ultimately I was inspired by the charm and resilience of Rosa and her unlikely community of wounded helpers.

Sylvie’s Love–Amazon Prime
This period drama features Tessa Thompson, as the title character Sylvie.  Young Sylvie works in her family’s Harlem record store, while her fiancé fights in the Korean War. She finds herself swept up in a romance with mysterious Jazz musician Robert, played by Nnamdi Asomugha. The two return to their respective worlds. Sylvie is a wife, mother, and television producer. Robert is the quintessential entertainer on the road traveling from one gig to another. Yet, events take shape in a compelling “chick flick” fashion. The costumes, art direction, and music add to the delightful vibe.

Hillbilly Elegy–Netflix
Okay, I am going out on a limb on this one. This film has received largely negative reviews overall, though Glenn Close may still–deservedly–earn another acting nomination for the Oscar statue that has long eluded her. (I am keeping my fingers crossed.) Directed by veteran filmmaker Ron Howard, Elegy is based on J.D. Vance’s best-selling memoir about coming of age in a troubled family residing in Southern Ohio but still tied to the mountains of Eastern Kentucky.

I read and liked the book when it came out a few years ago, and I also found the new movie compelling on many levels. Vance’s politics skew to the right, so understandably some of his pronouncements about poverty, family strife, and addiction may rub at least some folks on the left the wrong way. Vance, shaped by the tough-love perspective of his colorful grandmother, has offered some controversial points of view. They are a mixed bag for me, but I can still appreciate Vance’s story and the way Howard brings it to life.

I also think it’s worth noting that Ron Howard possesses solidly liberal political beliefs and a track record for supporting progressive causes. I am not saying that solves all the controversy, but maybe that’s a dose of perspective at least. Books and movies shouldn’t have to be tied up in neat little packages. The messy tensions and challenges keep things interesting, I would argue.

Happy Streaming and Happy New Year!

The United Methodist Church’s LGBT Fracture and Wal-Mart’s Gay Shopping Date

Pride Flag with Male and Female Symbols

This week, I have taken a few vacation days to catch my breath and take care of some domestic matters. So, I have been able to ponder two media items related to the LGBT community. First, a special General Conference of the United Methodist Church narrowly adopted a conservative approach to issues of sexuality. Secondly, discount retailing giant Wal-Mart unveiled a new video advertisement on its Facebook feed featuring two gay men shopping at one of its Supercenters as part of a blind date. I know it seems like a huge apples to oranges stretch, but I can’t help tying these two media threads together in that pesky ADD brain of mine.

I have been a United Methodist my entire adult life. About the time I began my freshman year of college, the Southern Baptist denomination in which I was raised had swung from a pretty center-right brand of evangelical theology with a relatively big tent to a more rigid blend of religious and political fundamentalism. At the time, my coming to terms with being gay wasn’t destined to happen for another decade, but I possessed a keen sense that biblical literalism wasn’t for me. In particular, I strongly supported women in the ministry and the compatibility between Christianity and such scientific concepts as the theory of evolution.

I found my way pretty early on in this journey to the United Methodist Church, in large part, because of the supportive environment I found in my university’s excellent Methodist campus ministry. One of the foundational concepts of Methodism that appealed to me most strongly was the Wesleyan Quadrilateral. Okay, I never quite mastered correct pronunciation of that fancy ‘q’ word, but I loved the definition of faith shaped by “Scripture, tradition, reason, and experience.” I liked the idea that intra-Christian dialogue was more than just a Jeopardy Lightning Round Bible verse quote challenge.

As I accepted myself as a gay man who wished to remain a part of the Church, I found affirmation and assurance when I opened myself up to the growing number of supportive voices. I  have spent different periods of time actively involved in several wonderful United Methodist congregations that fell along the spectrum between the more bold left and the more live and let live center. I have been able to share my story in different ways in different settings.

I remain truly in awe of the many friends I have who have been on the front lines of LGBT issues in the United Methodist Church. I am grateful for their prophetic witness, particularly in the early years when I was either too young or not yet emotionally ready to come out of the closet. Such groups as the Reconciling Ministries Network and their allied organizations have fought the good fight over the past four decades.

Every four years, the United Methodist Church holds a General Conference of elected clergy and lay delegates to make decisions regarding church governance. Recurring battles have centered on issues of sexuality, in particular, whether to overturn existing bans on the ordination of homosexual clergy or allow same-sex weddings/commitment ceremonies in United Methodist Church buildings.

Over time, the vote tallies have gotten close, but the pro-LGBT side has always managed to come up a bit short. While there remains a vocal  and well-organized conservative contingency inside the United States, the most strident opposition has come from overseas conferences of the Church. I think it’s important to resist the temptation to make blanket statements that oversimplify things. Yes, there are allies in every corner of the world, but as a general trend, these regions are in a very different place both culturally and politically, and the split seems to be getting more pronounced with time.

The special 2019 off-year General Conference  was called to try to bring clarity and resolution to these matters and produce a “way forward” for the Church as a whole. The Council of Bishops put forth the middle-of-the-road One Church Plan as the recommended proposal for delegates. The One Church Plan was structured to place decisions about same-sex wedding ceremonies under the authority of local church pastors and decisions about LGBT ordination under the authority of the regional bodies known as Annual Conferences.

I am sure that some of the folks closer to the inside could offer nuance as far as the parliamentary procedures, but this gathering went against the wishes of the Bishops and instead adopted the Modified Traditional Plan, which doubles down on the existing prohibitions and seeks to make the Church’s divergent governing bodies more accountable for enforcement of those restrictions. (Approximately 2/3 of U.S. delegates supported the One Church Plan, not quite enough to make up for the opposition from elsewhere)

I feel deeply disappointed by this outcome, but I am grateful for the supportive messages I have received from my local church family this week. So, I guess I find myself wondering if the forces in support of inclusion and tolerance are not unlike Charlie Brown trying to counter Lucy’s football throws in Peanuts. We see ourselves getting closer, but the game keeps shifting, and it seems weighted toward the other side.

While, sadly, plenty of folks in our midst still face the pain of rejection for who they are and who they love,  I think that part of the current dynamic is that many in the LGBT community, including in the United Methodist Church, have made  quite a bit of progress in building relationships in our daily lives that have changed hearts and minds on hot-button questions. Usually, those interactions are built on shared connections, values, and cultural similarities. Take those away, and the change proves more of an uphill task.

I think that inviting someone from a completely different ethnic, cultural, or political situation to engage in discussion requires a special skill set. I hold a deep admiration for those who seek to spread a message of acceptance in parts of the world where such activity could get you arrested or killed. And even here in the United States, with all of the progress we have experienced, there are folks who have pure contempt and hatred for LGBT citizens and would do us harm if they could. Yet, because of all of the positive developments, many thriving, reasonably well-adjusted LGBT folks have carved out a life for ourselves tied to safe bubbles where we  do our best to avoid the loudest naysayers.

I am not saying that’s an inherently bad or good thing. It is what it is. It can seem like the best of times or the worst of times, depending on your particular circumstances. There are battles out there, but not all of us are on the front lines. If we aren’t, my hope is that we can still make a difference even if just by living our day-to-day lives with truth and integrity, refusing to be ashamed.

Which leads me, finally, to the Wal-Mart video. While the chain is now a ubiquitous phenomenon, its origins can be found in America’s rural South and heartland. Those of us from the Bible Belt got to know Wal-Mart before it operated from coast to coast and even across the globe. So, the chain has more socially conservative roots than its closest competitors. Yet, over the years, Wal-Mart has still become increasingly responsive to the LGBT consumer segment.

The advertisement in question features two clean-cut young men meeting for a blind shopping date. They dress far from provocatively and discuss such innocuous topics as shampoo-conditioner combinations, the joys of Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies, and whether iron or aluminum cookware should be a new cook’s first purchase. Of course, that doesn’t stop a couple of pro-family groups from threatening boycotts due to the flagrant “gay agenda” at work.

However, unlike with other social and political institutions, I would venture to predict, with almost 100% certainty, that the angry mobs will get absolutely nowhere in their efforts. As with Target, Home Depot, Starbucks, and scores of other examples over the years–the most powerful forces in corporate America have come to understand that LGBT households are a force to be reckoned with. Okay, maybe not with a particular chicken sandwich restaurant and one individual arts and crafts chain, but those are definitely exceptions to the rule. Hating on gays gets you pretty much nowhere in a dialogue with contemporary consumer commerce giants.

So, maybe if you want to see the most reliable and unapologetic markers of social change, look to the shampoo and conditioner aisle. The political and religious stuff is more of a long game, I am afraid.

The Hot Dog Lady Who Tried to Ruin Dollywood Christmas

“It’s sad when some people make up their minds about me before they can get to know me.” This is a quote from my beloved husband, Tom; we were married in 2015, one week after the United States Supreme Court said we could. We’ve actually been a couple since 2010 though.

I pretty recently passed the half-century mark, and Tom is not too far behind. So, we got together in mid-life, and it’s been a really blessed life together. We have a pleasant home, good jobs, supportive friends and family, and we manage to find plenty of interesting adventures to share together, some big and others small.,

We are Nashvillians and huge fans of Dolly Parton. In fact, she lives a few miles away from us, and we have seen her in a relatively rare concert appearance at the Ryman Auditorium here in Music City. We had been to the Smokies on several occasions in the past but had never visited Dollywood, so on the first weekend in December we headed to the theme park’s Smoky Mountain Christmas celebration.

Despite bursts of rain here and there, the experience was absolutely magical from start to finish. There were festive shows tailored to the holiday season.  The decorations and lights were beautiful, especially after sunset. We did have one negative experience pretty early in our day.  Tom and I didn’t let it spoil our fun, but its one of those little things that neither one of us could quite shake.

We planned our time around the many shows the park has to offer; we had one full day from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. to get in all our fun. So, Tom and I hit the ground running finding one of the outdoor amphitheaters (Thankfully it wasn’t too cold.) where a Christmas bluegrass show was slated. We had a few minutes to spare, so we figured we would grab an early lunch, something that we could eat at the performance.

We saw a sign for a stand named “Dogs and Taters”. We got in line and noticed that the 70ish woman (I avoid labels related to age, as I have learned that they can be relative depending on where one lands on the chronological spectrum.) taking the orders was engaged in friendly banter with the four or five folks in line.

When it was our turn, we offered our usual pleasantries and inquired about the nature of the “taters” in question; were they home fries or homemade potato chips? The cashier seemed gruff and put upon in her response, and we noticed that she did not treat us with the same warmth that she had displayed to the others just mere seconds earlier.

The group in front of us consisted of male-female couples, probably retirees traveling together. The crowd overall seemed skewed either toward younger families with children or senior citizens.  Yes, we saw a few non-traditional families and/or same-sex couples in the park, so it’s not like we felt out-of-place in the grand scheme of things, but we were getting the impression that maybe this particular employee was not especially thrilled to be serving Tom and me.

We agreed that I would claim a bench in the amphitheater while Tom waited on our order. Tom ordered a hot dog and taters, while my carb-addict side made me opt for the corn dog and taters. Tom stood waiting, and then the cashier let him know that his food was ready. She handed him the hot dog and taters, and so he asked her about the rest of the order and provided our receipt. He was his usual unimposing and cheerful self; he just wanted the full order that we had paid for.

Ms. Congeniality managed to retrieve my corn dog and taters. She handed it to Tom with no thank you, no apology, no acknowledgement at all. She also didn’t seem concerned about whether he might need a tray, bag, etc to hold the ample-sized orders. It was as if any social interaction with Tom put her at the risk of bubonic plague.

I have done my time in the hospitality and retail industry. I know how difficult working with the public can be. We all have our bad-hair days, but it seemed telling that her problem was us in particular. Neither one of us is known for being a high-maintenance customer. We make it a point to be gracious and polite unless provoked for some strange reason.

As I have posted previously, my father was a school administrator during the arrival of school integration in rural Western Kentucky. He would recall the sad realities of the sports teams he traveled with being turned away at restaurants because there were African-American students in the group. By no stretch of the imagination am I deeming the little microaggression at Dollywood anywhere like the indignity of someone being flat-out denied service.

I am also well aware that Tom and I experience privilege in many facets of our lives. We enjoy positive interactions pretty much everywhere we choose to go. So, not a pity party at all. Yet, when Tom showed up with our food and reported on part two of the Dog and Taters saga, something still managed to sting a bit. We didn’t let it break our stride though. And the sit-down meal we had in the park that evening featured stellar service, perhaps because there was the matter of tipping or at least expected tipping.

On a purely transactional level, I figure that our money is as good as anyone else’s, so shouldn’t we be entitled to the basics of Customer Service 101? Yet, on a broader level, isn’t it sad that folks seem to have a way of assuming that different means less-than or something to be avoided?

I do stop and ask myself, are there situations when I make snap judgments based on external criteria? I must confess that I probably do; I think there is some degree of inevitable human nature involved. I make my assumptions, and they can be limiting in my thinking and attitude. Yet, I try not to let my expectations interfere with the task at hand in my daily life. That’s especially true of the workplace, but I think it also extends to other settings too.

I am resolved to try to light candles when I can rather than curse the darkness. In filling out an online guest survey, I reported the incident but stated that we still had an overwhelmingly positive experience overall.

In hindsight, I wish that I were the kind of person who would have gone back to the scene of the crime so-to-speak and found the perfect way to model congeniality and “kill her with kindness” through some sort of overt expression that would prove to Grouchy Lady that my beloved and I deserved her respect but that we were also respectful of her as well. Yet, I know that sometimes when I make moves like that, it comes across as being passive-aggressive, or worse, my long fuse manages to become lit in a not-so-healthy way.

At any rate, my hope is that I can be my best self and enjoy life so much that it’s contagious. There will be bumps along the way; I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and I will probably not always handle it with perfect ease. I wish that I could magically change the hearts and minds of those who think that Tom and I are the “other,” but maybe the answer is to keep an eye out for the hot dog ladies that do care and not miss out on the positive that’s out there.

Dollywood Nativity Scene