This week, I have taken a few vacation days to catch my breath and take care of some domestic matters. So, I have been able to ponder two media items related to the LGBT community. First, a special General Conference of the United Methodist Church narrowly adopted a conservative approach to issues of sexuality. Secondly, discount retailing giant Wal-Mart unveiled a new video advertisement on its Facebook feed featuring two gay men shopping at one of its Supercenters as part of a blind date. I know it seems like a huge apples to oranges stretch, but I can’t help tying these two media threads together in that pesky ADD brain of mine.
I have been a United Methodist my entire adult life. About the time I began my freshman year of college, the Southern Baptist denomination in which I was raised had swung from a pretty center-right brand of evangelical theology with a relatively big tent to a more rigid blend of religious and political fundamentalism. At the time, my coming to terms with being gay wasn’t destined to happen for another decade, but I possessed a keen sense that biblical literalism wasn’t for me. In particular, I strongly supported women in the ministry and the compatibility between Christianity and such scientific concepts as the theory of evolution.
I found my way pretty early on in this journey to the United Methodist Church, in large part, because of the supportive environment I found in my university’s excellent Methodist campus ministry. One of the foundational concepts of Methodism that appealed to me most strongly was the Wesleyan Quadrilateral. Okay, I never quite mastered correct pronunciation of that fancy ‘q’ word, but I loved the definition of faith shaped by “Scripture, tradition, reason, and experience.” I liked the idea that intra-Christian dialogue was more than just a Jeopardy Lightning Round Bible verse quote challenge.
As I accepted myself as a gay man who wished to remain a part of the Church, I found affirmation and assurance when I opened myself up to the growing number of supportive voices. I have spent different periods of time actively involved in several wonderful United Methodist congregations that fell along the spectrum between the more bold left and the more live and let live center. I have been able to share my story in different ways in different settings.
I remain truly in awe of the many friends I have who have been on the front lines of LGBT issues in the United Methodist Church. I am grateful for their prophetic witness, particularly in the early years when I was either too young or not yet emotionally ready to come out of the closet. Such groups as the Reconciling Ministries Network and their allied organizations have fought the good fight over the past four decades.
Every four years, the United Methodist Church holds a General Conference of elected clergy and lay delegates to make decisions regarding church governance. Recurring battles have centered on issues of sexuality, in particular, whether to overturn existing bans on the ordination of homosexual clergy or allow same-sex weddings/commitment ceremonies in United Methodist Church buildings.
Over time, the vote tallies have gotten close, but the pro-LGBT side has always managed to come up a bit short. While there remains a vocal and well-organized conservative contingency inside the United States, the most strident opposition has come from overseas conferences of the Church. I think it’s important to resist the temptation to make blanket statements that oversimplify things. Yes, there are allies in every corner of the world, but as a general trend, these regions are in a very different place both culturally and politically, and the split seems to be getting more pronounced with time.
The special 2019 off-year General Conference was called to try to bring clarity and resolution to these matters and produce a “way forward” for the Church as a whole. The Council of Bishops put forth the middle-of-the-road One Church Plan as the recommended proposal for delegates. The One Church Plan was structured to place decisions about same-sex wedding ceremonies under the authority of local church pastors and decisions about LGBT ordination under the authority of the regional bodies known as Annual Conferences.
I am sure that some of the folks closer to the inside could offer nuance as far as the parliamentary procedures, but this gathering went against the wishes of the Bishops and instead adopted the Modified Traditional Plan, which doubles down on the existing prohibitions and seeks to make the Church’s divergent governing bodies more accountable for enforcement of those restrictions. (Approximately 2/3 of U.S. delegates supported the One Church Plan, not quite enough to make up for the opposition from elsewhere)
I feel deeply disappointed by this outcome, but I am grateful for the supportive messages I have received from my local church family this week. So, I guess I find myself wondering if the forces in support of inclusion and tolerance are not unlike Charlie Brown trying to counter Lucy’s football throws in Peanuts. We see ourselves getting closer, but the game keeps shifting, and it seems weighted toward the other side.
While, sadly, plenty of folks in our midst still face the pain of rejection for who they are and who they love, I think that part of the current dynamic is that many in the LGBT community, including in the United Methodist Church, have made quite a bit of progress in building relationships in our daily lives that have changed hearts and minds on hot-button questions. Usually, those interactions are built on shared connections, values, and cultural similarities. Take those away, and the change proves more of an uphill task.
I think that inviting someone from a completely different ethnic, cultural, or political situation to engage in discussion requires a special skill set. I hold a deep admiration for those who seek to spread a message of acceptance in parts of the world where such activity could get you arrested or killed. And even here in the United States, with all of the progress we have experienced, there are folks who have pure contempt and hatred for LGBT citizens and would do us harm if they could. Yet, because of all of the positive developments, many thriving, reasonably well-adjusted LGBT folks have carved out a life for ourselves tied to safe bubbles where we do our best to avoid the loudest naysayers.
I am not saying that’s an inherently bad or good thing. It is what it is. It can seem like the best of times or the worst of times, depending on your particular circumstances. There are battles out there, but not all of us are on the front lines. If we aren’t, my hope is that we can still make a difference even if just by living our day-to-day lives with truth and integrity, refusing to be ashamed.
Which leads me, finally, to the Wal-Mart video. While the chain is now a ubiquitous phenomenon, its origins can be found in America’s rural South and heartland. Those of us from the Bible Belt got to know Wal-Mart before it operated from coast to coast and even across the globe. So, the chain has more socially conservative roots than its closest competitors. Yet, over the years, Wal-Mart has still become increasingly responsive to the LGBT consumer segment.
The advertisement in question features two clean-cut young men meeting for a blind shopping date. They dress far from provocatively and discuss such innocuous topics as shampoo-conditioner combinations, the joys of Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies, and whether iron or aluminum cookware should be a new cook’s first purchase. Of course, that doesn’t stop a couple of pro-family groups from threatening boycotts due to the flagrant “gay agenda” at work.
However, unlike with other social and political institutions, I would venture to predict, with almost 100% certainty, that the angry mobs will get absolutely nowhere in their efforts. As with Target, Home Depot, Starbucks, and scores of other examples over the years–the most powerful forces in corporate America have come to understand that LGBT households are a force to be reckoned with. Okay, maybe not with a particular chicken sandwich restaurant and one individual arts and crafts chain, but those are definitely exceptions to the rule. Hating on gays gets you pretty much nowhere in a dialogue with contemporary consumer commerce giants.
So, maybe if you want to see the most reliable and unapologetic markers of social change, look to the shampoo and conditioner aisle. The political and religious stuff is more of a long game, I am afraid.
Coloring Outside the Lines 