Love, Simon marks a major milestone as the first major release of a mainstream gay-themed romantic comedy-drama both about–and marketed to the–the teen audience. Gay characters have certainly found their way into plenty of teen-related movies over recent decades, but the dynamic tended to fall either into the realm of colorful comic-relief sidekicks or super-serious examples of repression and suffering.
Based on the acclaimed 2015 young-adult novel Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Love, Simon tells the story of 16-year-old Simon Spier, a well-adjusted boy next door in the Atlanta suburbs with supportive family and friends. Simon flies under the high-school radar by not fitting stereotypes, but his romantic attempts involving the opposite sex have proven awkward, and he privately realizes that he is attracted to other guys.
As a gay man in midlife, watching the movie provided a catharsis of sorts. I spent my entire young adulthood unable to come to terms with who I was. To witness today’s teens come to self-acceptance at a much earlier age warms my heart, but to be perfectly honest, it’s easy to fall into feelings of regret about the past and even envy for the apparent ease that I didn’t experience. Yet, ultimately, I can empathize with the commonalities and understand that everyone’s journey is shaped by time, place, and circumstances.
The storyline of Love, Simon fits the familiar structure of teen romantic comedy dramas. Simon anonymously corresponds with another boy from his high school who is secretly gay. When an obnoxious acquaintance sees Simon’s still-open Web browser in the library, the closeted Simon finds himself blackmailed to play matchmaker, undertaking a scheme that wreaks heterosexual romantic havoc among his close-knit circle of friends. At the same time, Simon searches for clues surrounding the identity of his secret same-sex suitor, facing a series of embarrassing mixed signals.
Love, Simon seems a far cry from the gay-teen world of 2016’s Moonlight. Bullying exists, but it’s not a matter of life and death, and being gay presents challenges but not the heaviest type of heart-wrenching drama. So, which narrative rings truer? Well, I think that’s one of those apples and oranges comparisons. There are all kinds of gay lives running a wide gamut.
It seems to be that gay-themed movies, television shows, books, etc. invariably fall into the trap of gay people and their allies complaining that the situations are too stereotypical or too plain vanilla, too idealized or too doomed to tragic victim status, too political or not political enough, too edgy or not edgy enough. I think it’s human nature to look for our own experiences and the experiences of those around us.
I have to confess that, especially in my earlier years of coming out, I have found myself praising the “middle of the road” people-pleasing gay celebrities like Ellen Degeneres, privately wishing that some of the more in-your-face public figures would do a better job of public relations. When television sitcoms and dramas would feature gay characters, I would often feel most drawn to situations that best defied stereotypes.
Over the passage of time, I have become better able to step back and take in the big picture. I realize that there is not just one gay experience or gay identity. It’s wrong to make assumptions and pigeonhole people and communities, and a big tent is the ideal.
I thoroughly enjoyed Love, Simon but can admit that the situations portrayed are idealized. There are certainly more dramatic and extreme stories that still need to be told. Yet, in my mind, the very existence of a movie like Love, Simon represents a sign of progress. As gay people become more visible in the wider culture, we can stand out, but we can also be conventional too.
I wish that there had been movies like Love, Simon in the 1980s. Yet, I can celebrate their arrival now and maybe let my inner teenager enjoy some of the fun too.
Coloring Outside the Lines 